I grew a mustache on my face
and everybody thinks that I'm Tom Selleck
My mustache, it's a craze
and everybody thinks that I can sell it

Girls love it guys love it
even my mom loves it
Girls love it guys love it
everybody wants to touch it

I grew a mustache on my face
and everybody thinks that I'm Hulk Hogan
My mustache, it's a craze
and everybody thinks that I can Suplex

Girls love it guys love it
even my mom loves it
Girls love it guys love it
everybody wants to touch it

I grew a mustache on my face
and everybody thinks that I'm a Porn Star

Girls love it guys love it
even my mom loves it
Girls love it guys love it
everybody wants to touch it

Joseph Stalin, Fu Manchu
Gandhi, Dali, Zappa
Keith Hernandez, Snidely Whiplash
Howard Hughes, Doctor Demento

Rollie Fingers, Groucho Marx
even Hercule Poirot

Sigmund Freud had a mustache
because he loved his mother
Albert Einstein's upper lip
opened up the world of physics
The Village people were so hirsute
So that they could boogie
Friedrich Nietzsche, Charlie Chaplin
and Martin Luther King
Roosevelt, Chester Arthur
William Howard Taft
Somerville's Manuel
he's got an awesome mustache

You've got an awesome mustache too